THE SUCCESS OF FAILURE

THE SUCCESS OF FAILURE
The cliché about learning from all experience, including failure, is a cliché only because it is so true.
In order to learn from failure, I believe we need first to decide whether or not what we might be experiencing as failure is perceived as failure by anyone else / the rest of the world. Or is our experience of failure completely subjective?
In other words, how ultimately responsible have we been for what we choose to view as our failute?
Is it not possible that what has occurred around our perceived or even genuine failure is nothing more than what could and / or would have happened, considering all surrounding circumstances? With or without our input?
Those of us whose major defense is control—much the same as those of us whos major defense is anger or depression / anxiey, or victimness / doormatness—likely experience many occurrences or events in our lives as failures.
I think this is because we do not, in our own selves, allow any slack for lack of perfection—we are “hard on ourselves”!
I also am sure, that self-absorbed as we might be in our own sense of personal imperfection, we do not realistically see that whatever situation / person(s) we experience ourselves embroiled in and failing at, is simply not working! And not likely to work, no matter how long we remain embroiled.
Ergo, our only failure is in not recognizing that the situation / person(s) is not only beyond our control but that we likely need to remove ourselves from it.
How terrifying and how painful to let go of our need to control—or be angry at or depressed / anxious about. And how liberating.
And, our subjectively experienced failure is the quintessential opportunity to “go inside and look around” at our deeper and more inner selves and ask some cogent questions:
1) Can I accept my own personal limitations?
2) Can I accept situational limitations?
3) Can I accept defeat graciously?
4) What does losing / defeat really mean to me?
5) Am I able to relinquish responsibility in happenstances that are not, actually, my responsibility at all?
6) Am I able to disengage my self from my attitudes and values about success and failure?
7) How can I learn to detach and disengage from making everything all about me?
I encourage each of us to ponder and address these questions as they apply to our lives.
And then, what about the times we genuinely do muck up and muck up royally?
We “simply” own our responsibility. We man up and own it.